Fear Ladder

Fear of flying: a step-by-step exposure ladder

If boarding an airplane fills you with dread, you need not start with a long flight. Below is an example ladder of fourteen steps, from a takeoff video to a 1-to-2-hour flight on your own. It is a starting point, not a tested program: reword the steps and replace the fear numbers with your own. Pick the first step that feels uncomfortable but doable, and repeat it until you have tested your prediction safely, even if some fear remains.

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Flying

Easiest first. The suggested steps, their order, times and distances, and the fear numbers are illustrative examples, not a tested program. Rate each step yourself from 0 (no fear) to 100 (the most afraid you can imagine), change the wording to fit your life, and add your own steps.

  1. Watch a 10-minute video of a smooth commercial jet takeoff and climb from a passenger window view.

    Before you start, write down what you expect to happen. Afterwards, compare it with what actually happened.

  2. Start here — uncomfortable but doable

    Watch a pilot explain common flight sensations, wing flex, and turbulence on video.

  3. Visit a local airport viewing area or terminal observation deck and watch ten aircraft take off and land.

  4. Walk inside an airport terminal, spend 30 minutes observing the ticketing hall, security, and boarding gates.

  5. Book a short 45-to-60-minute domestic flight for yourself and a calm, trusted travel partner.

  6. On the day of the flight, check in and go through security to the gate with your companion.

  7. Board the aircraft, find your seat, buckle your seatbelt, and let your shoulders drop during pushback.

  8. Keep your hands resting lightly in your lap rather than clutching the armrests during takeoff and initial climb.

  9. Stay seated through cruise and mild bumps without checking flight-tracking or weather apps.

  10. Stay seated through cruise and mild bumps without scanning the crew for signs of trouble.

    Keep following the crew and the seat belt sign. What you drop is the checking, not their instructions.

  11. Take the return flight sitting apart from your companion.

    If there is a seat you usually avoid, such as the window or the aisle, you can add it as a later step of its own.

  12. Take a short 45-to-60-minute flight on your own.

  13. Take a 1-to-2-hour flight on your own.

  14. Take a 1-to-2-hour flight on your own without your lucky object or pre-boarding ritual.

    This is an example end point. Replace it with the flight you actually want to be able to take.

Keep your ladder

Stay safe while you practice

  • Chest pain or discomfort, pain in your jaw, neck, back, arms or shoulders, or feeling weak, light-headed or faint can be signs of a heart attack. If you notice them, stop and call 911 (US).
  • If the fear feels too strong to stay with, stop safely and pick an easier step next time. Stopping is not failing.
  • If a panic attack starts, get somewhere safe first, then use the free Panic Reset.
  • Questions about medication belong with your doctor or prescriber, not with this ladder.
  • Always follow the cabin crew and the seat belt sign, during practice flights as on any other flight.
  • If you have a health condition that could be affected by flying, check with your doctor before booking.
  • Do not use alcohol to get through a practice flight. If you take medicine, keep taking it as prescribed and talk to your prescriber before changing anything.
Panic hits during practice? Once you are somewhere safe, open the free 2-minute Panic Reset(opens in a new tab)

In the US

Sources: About Heart Attack Symptoms, Risk, and Recovery (CDC) · About 988 (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) · Contact Us (988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)

A self-help tool. Not a medical device or a substitute for professional care.

Why flying can trigger panic

NHS inform lists flying among the common examples of simple phobias, which are fears about specific objects, animals, situations or activities. Coming into contact with what you fear can cause anxiety and/or panic, it says, and sometimes just thinking about it can.

The FAA says turbulence is normal and happens often. The NHS lists a racing heartbeat, shortness of breath, feeling faint and dizziness among the symptoms of a panic attack, and says that although panic attacks are frightening, they are not dangerous.

NHS inform says fear only becomes a phobia when you begin to organise your life around avoiding it, and that treating simple phobias involves gradually becoming exposed to what causes your fear. A ladder lets you do that in steps small enough to take.

Predictions people make about flying

Before a step, write down what you expect to happen. Some predictions you might recognize:

  • •“The plane will hit turbulence and fall out of the sky”
  • •“Something will go wrong with the engines in mid-air”
  • •“I will have a panic attack at 30,000 feet and lose control”
  • •“I will not be able to breathe in the cabin”
  • •“I will embarrass myself by crying or asking to get off”
  • •“Nobody on board will know how to help me if I feel unwell”

Safety behaviors to watch for around flying

Things people do to feel safer in the moment. As you move up your ladder, you can try dropping them one at a time. Only drop what anxiety adds; anything that genuinely keeps you or others safe stays:

  • 1Checking turbulence forecasts and weather radar over and over before the trip
  • 2Carrying lucky objects or repeating rituals before boarding
  • 3Gripping the armrests for the whole flight and watching the cabin crew for signs of trouble
  • 4Needing a travel companion to talk to you or hold your arm during every turn
  • 5Listening to every change in engine sound and every chime, expecting the worst
  • 6Refusing to stand up or use the lavatory because moving around feels unsafe

Tips for flying

  • The FAA says turbulence is normal and happens often, but notes it can throw passengers who are not wearing their seat belts from their seats without warning. Keep your belt fastened whenever you are seated, and follow the seat belt sign and the crew.
  • Notice where you are bracing: hands, jaw, shoulders. Let one of them loosen at a time.
  • If panic rises, breathe slowly and deeply, as the NHS suggests. Treat it as something steady to do while the sensations rise and fall, not as something you must get right for the step to count.
  • On your first flights it is fine to bring an audio story or music. On later flights, leave it off for part of the climb and note how you manage without it.
  • Resist the urge to track altitude and airspeed on your phone throughout the trip. If you keep checking, make putting the phone away a step of its own.

When to get professional care

This ladder is a self-help tool. Consider professional support in these cases:

  • •Fear of flying stops you from work you need to do, seeing family, or attending important events.
  • •Dread starts weeks before a trip and disturbs your sleep, appetite, or work.
  • •Panic attacks happen often, including away from planes, or you are starting to avoid other places too.
  • •Your fear began after a frightening flight and is interfering with your day-to-day life. NHS inform says phobias often begin after a frightening event, and that a GP may refer you to a specialist, like a psychologist, who can help.

Questions about flying

Is turbulence dangerous?

The FAA says turbulence is normal and happens often, but that it can be dangerous: the bumpy ride can throw passengers who are not wearing their seat belts from their seats without warning. Its advice to passengers is to keep the seat belt buckled at all times while seated, and to listen to the pilots and flight attendants.

What if I feel faint during takeoff or landing?

The NHS lists feeling faint and dizziness among the symptoms of a panic attack, and notes that most panic attacks last between 5 and 20 minutes. Stay seated, keep your belt fastened, and breathe slowly and deeply. If you have ever actually fainted or lost awareness, talk to your doctor before practicing.

Can I ask the cabin crew for help?

Yes. You can tell a crew member that you are feeling very anxious, and tell them too if you also feel physically unwell. The FAA advice on turbulence includes listening to the pilots and flight attendants.

Do I need a fear-of-flying course before a real flight?

No. The videos, airport visits and short flights on this ladder follow the principle NHS inform describes for simple phobias: gradually becoming exposed to what causes your fear. NHS inform also notes that no single programme works for everyone, and that some people choose to get help from a specialist such as a psychologist.

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